my brain is decaying, though it smells clean and fresh which is strange. in every moment i fall further into listlessness. i don't want to work. it drives me up and down the stairs, listening to the same goddamn wonderful songs over and over until each one is matched with the perfect pictures stored away in my mind, and this wastes so much time, ( Read more... )

i don't know how i'm going to live through the rest of the school year. the marking period ends about the 13th or 14th of june, and i have two field trips at the end of next week but its all not close enough. its not good enough. i am failing chemistry this marking period. there's nothing to cushion my fall now, no more labs and the homework is ( Read more... )

i'm feeling good about this year. its strange. i think i got so sick of 2002, i got sick of the numbers, the way it droned on. i like 03, i like writing it down. it feels like something new that i could throw into someone's face, like i don't have to act like an angsty, self-doubting, rueful, paranoid shit anymore because now its 2003. i was about ( Read more... )

to gain and to lose. i have been indulging in new interests, in new vanity, in new thoughts and ideas from an old overseas mind. and to me this is all new. and i have lost one of my greatest inspirations. i sadly announce that stan rice died yesterday morning. now i have to read his stuff at poetry day ( Read more... )

"duet on the iberville street"- stan rice
the man in black leather
buying a rat to feed his python
does not dwell on particulars.
any rat will do.
while walking back from the pet store
i see a man in a hotel garage
carving a swan in a block of ice
with a chain saw.

i've been swimming in memnoch the devil for most of the day. i love this, i think ( Read more... )

today is my day to be selfish and giddy and stupid. and idiotically happy. yay ( Read more... )

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and tis the end of it all. if i had posted yesterday, perhaps that final day of my sophomore would have seemed a little more dramatic. but i can't say it was in the first place- it was quite anticlimactic. i didn't even hear a dismissal bell ( Read more... )

a good portion of today is total blank. because i picked up tale of the body theif and i could not put it down. i didn't do a worksheet in bio and in english just so i could read. i just blatantly did not do them. if i fail my finals, its lestat's fault ( Read more... )

"he wears woe as others wear velvet; sorrow flatters him like the light of candles; tears become him like jewels." -from the tale of the body theif by anne rice ( Read more... )